Hiring new sales help is always a crapshoot. You would not believe the some   of the deranged people that wander in seeking employment, having no sense of reality at all. This is the story of one such guy: ‘The Punk Rock  Salesman.’

One day, the ‘Punk Rock Salesman’ walks into the store asking for a job. He looks like he just spent the night down town at the punk rock capitol of the world,

CBGB’s then came directly to the store to looking for work. I mean, he had the ‘Sid Vicious’ look down pat: Besides the torn jeans and  ripped tee shirt — with safety pins holding it together  — he topped his out fit off with a dog collar around his neck and a motorcycle chain belt. When I saw him I felt like I was in a time warp back to  the end of ’79, my first year working on West 48th.

In those early years, it was not that uncommon of a sight to see musicians in   their ‘Mohawk’ hairs do’s or donning bright green spiked hair  as they stroll into the store. Bands like ‘Velvet Underground’, ‘The Sic F*cks’ and ‘The Dead boys’ would play their brand of loud, raw, crass rock and roll all night long at the clubs downtown and head uptown to hang out on music row during the day.

“Yo, you the manager?” the  ‘Punk’ applicant yelled over at me. “I am one of them, yes. What can I do for you?” I replied.   “Can I have a job application? I am looking for work.”   “Ok,” I said as one of the co-managers standing near by handed him the paper. Ideally we like to have two managers review applicants in order to  thoroughly assess a candidate’s qualifications.  After all, for the truly rock-obsessed, working on music row is “big time!”

Anyway, the other co-manager did in fact take a liking to this guy, looked over the punk rockers resume and declared that we should hire him. “He would scare off customers!” I contended, referring to his gruff conversational style and ridiculously freaky get-ups. But my co-worker insisted, shoving his resume in my hands. I looked it over, and realized   that he did have some amount of knowledge of guitars and guitar accessories.

So I gave in.

The other managers and I had a quick meeting with him explaining the aspects of the job. I got the ball rolling: “Be on time,” I said.

“Keep your area neat and clean’ said another sales manager.

“Be on time,” I said again. “Being a reliable employee is imperative.”

“Be respectful to your customers and follow company policy” said the other manager. “And wear appropriate clothing to work. No torn jeans, ripped tee shirts or bandanas like the one you have on your head.”

“And be on time,” I added again.  I just had to remind him one last time, I had seen his type before.

As we headed back to the sales floor the ‘Punk Rock Salesman’ started to make some small talk with me. “How long have you worked here my man?” he asked me. Before I could answer, he blurted out: “Hey, did the Ramones ever shop here?”

At First, I couldn’t resist being a tease.  “I started working on the block back ‘79 just as the punk scene was winding down and the more commercial friendly ‘new wave’ scene started happening. Most of the heavy weights that crossed over to commercial success came to the store.”   “Who, tell me who?” He all but screamed to me.

“Well, I see you’re real into this stuff,” I replied with calm satisfaction. “The Patti Smith band’, ‘The Sick F*cks the Dead Boys, the outrageous Wendy O Williams and.. Oh yeah, of course the ‘Ramones.'”    “Which Ramone came in? I just gotta know. Tell me the story,” he pleaded.   “Well seeing that you are the biggest Ramones fan in the world, I will have  tell you,” I casually replied.  I went on to tell him about the day the group’s drummer, Marky Ramone, stopped in the store to purchase a guitar.  “He was staring at the Fenders over there on the vintage wall when I approached him. “Hey you are Marky Ramone

right?” I asked him. “Yeah”, he replied in the typical monotone one word answeres that of Romones fashion. “I am surprised to see you in the guitar department and not the drum area. What can I do for you?”  He looked over to the vintage guitars on display and pointed to the candy apple red Fender Mustang.  “That ,” is all he said.  It took several attempts, but finally we found a credit card of his that actually worked! A few moments later Marky left with is little Fender Mustang guitar.”

All the ‘Punk Rock Salesman’ could say was: “Wow that is the coolest story.” We laughed. I enjoyed sharing that story with someone who really appreciated it.

The next day the‘Punk Rock Salesman’hadn’t showed up yet and it was already an hour past his scheduled time of arrival, ofcourse on his first day of work.  This complicates our system tremendously since the management needs to split the shifts in various ways to allow the correct coverage for the staff.  Just then all of a sudden hurriedly passed by my counter on the way to the stock room to punch his fresh time card.  I called him over and explained once again the importance of being on time. He said that he was not sure of the train schedule from Queens and that he would have no problem in the future.

The next afternoon, though, Mr. Dog Collar around the neck showed up late again. Based on an over-amplified bragging session he was having with another salesman, he had apparently hooked up with a “Swedish chick” in a  downtown bar the night before. This time my co manager laid into him: “Be here on time or we will have to let you go.”

Early the very next morning the ‘Punk Rock Salesman’ called to say that there was a tragic death and that he couldn’t come in that day. “Oh I am very sorry to hear your bad news” I answered back to him.  “Is their anything we can do?” As a store manager you have to be very sensitive to issues of this nature “No, I will be in tomorrow” he replied. Before I could get in another word of condolences he quickly hung up the phone.

I informed the other managers that the ‘Punk Rock

Sales man’ would not be in today due to a family matter.

Later that afternoon while I was on the internet checking my messages   I read the news: Legendary punk rocker, Joey Ramone, had died last night.  I just could not believe my eyes?  Joey Ramone the hard rocking leader of

the hard living Ramones dead?  As usual the news spread quickly around the store. I guess all of the music row veterans have a warm place in our hearts for the fast strumming Ramones.

The very next afternoon, the ‘Punk Rock Salesman’ arrives to work and punches in his time card. “Made it in on time I see” as I reached out to shake his hand and share my condolences.  He responded soberly: “Thank you. It was so sudden, I am still in shock.” We both nodded our heads at each other. A few minutes later, I overheard Punk Rock Salesman talking to another sales guy on the sales floor:  “I was so down yesterday because Joey Ramone died. I couldn’t leave the house all day. And the managers here at the store have been so cool about it.”

So do you think he lasted the rest of the week? NOT!