On 3:00pm during a busy Friday afternoon in walks trouble: A goofball decked out in an Elvis Costello eyeglass disguise. He had on a white buttoned down collared shirt. Black slacks that had to be about 2-3 inches to short for him.  He then proceeded to pick up a very expensive Martin acoustic guitar, strums it windmill style (yes, just like Pete Townstend), and starts singing what ever song that popped into his head at the top of his lungs!

Customers in the store look on in disbelief. Shoppers stop at the front counter and ask me if I’m aware of the “nut case” performing in the acoustic department. A seasoned salesman finally approaches the lunatic: He has seen it all on music row and he **thinks** he knows just what to do to mitigate the problem, gently ushering the customer into an unoccupied area of the store. He politely asks him (over and over again) to calm down and play at a lower decimal level. But the son of a @#$$ only sang louder and made more of a spectacle of himself! The salesman, now finally running out of patience, delicately escorts the  the singing fool out of the store.

But it’s not over yet: The imposter goes for the kill, marches back in the store, and begins screaming [WHAT SONG] banging the guitar wildly.  He pulls a guitar off the wall, stumbles and the instrument flings out of his hands and smashes into hundreds of pieces on the floor. All commotion in the store ceases, every mouth rests agape.

One of the managers, Kevin, blurts out: “That’s it, I am calling the cops,”  his face red with rage. His veins strain in his neck as he picks up the phone and begins dialing.

Finally the farce comes to an end: an undercover VH1 crew proudly comes forward to explain to everyone that this episode was just a segment for the ‘Sledge Hammer’ series on cable TV. The show’s shtick: They send actors into places of business on a mission to make total fools of themselves, disrupting an otherwise perfectly normal work day.

Good-natured Kevin begins laughing.

VH-1 had contacted the central office of the company I work for to ask for permission to film a segment a few seeks prior. It takes a lot to rattle us here, though. After the actor’s first failed attempt to rile up my staff, one of the VHI guys commented about our professionalism, our ability to stay calm throughout it all.

So I   explained : “Out of any 10 customers who walk in the store: 3 are recovering musicians on a out reach program, a few are professional crooks ready to steal the front counter if they could get it passed the security guard and a couple are usually nasty rude obnoxious know it all’s! Those types have an attitude before you could even offer assistance to them with their purchase! (I guess their frustration from a lack of musical talent probably gets the best of them.)  We also have many customers from other countries that of course can not speak a word of English.”

Smashing a guitar into a zillion pieces (which was a set-up of course) is about the only shocking thing you can do on music row.  I should know I have seen it all!

Lesson Learned- when you thought you saw it all-you ain’t seen nothing yet